Success is one of those topics that everyone talks about, but not everyone agrees on. While some chase it with relentless determination, others prefer to laugh about the ups and downs that come with the journey.
The truth is, a little humor and wit can lighten even the most serious conversations about success. That’s why we’ve gathered a collection of short success quotes that are witty, sarcastic, and thought-provoking. These quotes will not only spark laughter but also provide a fresh perspective on ambition, failure, and achievement.
So, let’s dive into these 80+ funny and witty success quotes, organized into categories that will help you chuckle while you reflect on what success really means.
Classic Wisdom with a Twist
- “Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill
- “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” — Henry David Thoreau
- “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill
- “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller
- “Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.” — W. P. Kinsella
- “Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” — Vince Lombardi
- “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.” — Theodore Roosevelt
- “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.” — John Wooden
- “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” — Dale Carnegie
- “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” — Herman Melville
The Humor in Hard Work
- “I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” — Estée Lauder
- “Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it’s done right.” — Walt Disney
- “When I believe in something, I’m like a dog with a bone.” — Melissa McCarthy
- “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.” — Colin R. Davis
- “You learn more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character.” — Unknown
- “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” — Will Rogers
- “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” — Winston Churchill
- “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” — Tina Fey
- “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anaïs Nin
- “If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” — Steve Jobs
Persistence and Grit
- “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.” — Calvin Coolidge
- “Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.” — Calvin Coolidge
- “The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” — Calvin Coolidge
- “Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
- “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired; you quit when the gorilla is tired.” — Robert Strauss
- “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” — Chris Grosser
- “I never lose. I either win or learn.” — Nelson Mandela
- “Fall seven times and stand up eight.” — Japanese Proverb
- “Energy and persistence conquer all things.” — Benjamin Franklin
- “The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” — George Washington
Witty Observations About Success
- “It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid instead of trying to be very intelligent.” — Charlie Munger
- “I’ve searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.” — Gilbert K. Chesterton
- “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.” — Al Bernstein
- “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” — Maryon Pearson
- “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire
- “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
- “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison
- “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” — Sam Levenson
- “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissinger
The Power of Attitude
- “The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.” — David Hurley
- “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” — William James
- “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama
- “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Confucius
- “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” — Charles R. Swindoll
- “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” — Winston Churchill
- “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” — Zig Ziglar
- “A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” — Patricia Neal
- “Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” — Nicholas M. Butler
- “Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy — it won’t come out while you’re watching.” — Tennessee Williams
Lighthearted Takes on Ambition
- “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” — Mister Rogers
- “Ambition is enthusiasm with a purpose.” — Frank Tyger
- “Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.” — Christopher Morley
- “Dream big and dare to fail.” — Norman Vaughan
- “I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” — Thomas Jefferson
- “Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.” — W. Clement Stone
- “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” — Bill Bradley
- “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” — Richard Branson
- “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” — George S. Patton
- “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” — Walt Disney
Success and Happiness
- “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.” — Tony Robbins
- “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt
- “True success is overcoming the fear of being unsuccessful.” — Paul Sweeney
- “Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.” — David Frost
- “He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.” — Bessie Stanley
- “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” — Dalai Lama
- “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.” — Albert Einstein
- “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou
- “Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” — Bo Bennett
- “Happiness is the highest level of success.” — Unknown
Sharp Sarcasm About Success
- “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
- “Behind every successful man is a lot of unsuccessful years.” — Bob Brown
- “Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.” — T.S. Eliot
- “I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.” — G.K. Chesterton
- “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” — Jerry Seinfeld
- “Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” — H. Jackson Browne
- “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” — Bill Gates
- “The secret of success is to do the common thing uncommonly well.” — John D. Rockefeller Jr.
- “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” — Dalai Lama
Inspiring One-Liners
- “Dream it. Wish it. Do it.” — Unknown
- “Success is never accidental.” — Jack Dorsey
- “Small steps in the right direction can turn out to be the biggest step of your life.” — Unknown
- “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” — Oprah Winfrey
- “Success doesn’t come to you; you go to it.” — Marva Collins
- “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” — Muhammad Ali
- “Work hard in silence, let success make the noise.” — Frank Ocean
- “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” — Theodore Roosevelt
- “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” — Napoleon Hill
- “What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” — Ralph Marston
Conclusion
Success is serious business, but these short success quotes prove that it doesn’t always have to be. A witty line or sarcastic observation can remind us to laugh at setbacks, keep moving forward, and enjoy the process along the way.
Which of these quotes made you laugh, nod in agreement, or think twice? Share your favorite in the comments, or add your own witty take on success. And don’t forget to share this list with friends — because a good laugh mixed with a little inspiration is always worth spreading.