Life isn’t always smooth sailing, but sometimes the best way to handle it is with humor, wit, and a touch of sarcasm. After all, laughter is one of the easiest ways to find joy in everyday moments. From lighthearted wisdom to tongue-in-cheek observations, simple quotes about life remind us not to take everything too seriously.
In this collection, you’ll find over 80 funny, witty, and sarcastic quotes divided into categories—each with its own unique spin on life’s ups and downs. Whether you’re in need of a chuckle, a dose of cleverness, or just something to lighten the mood, these quotes are here to keep you smiling.
Funny Quotes About Life
- “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” —Margaret Mead
- “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” —Tom Lehrer
- “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” —Michael Scott (The Office)
- “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” —Unknown
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” —Jim Carrey
- “If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” —Cathy Guisewite
- “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” —Will Rogers
- “When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.” —Unknown
- “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” —Steven Wright
- “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” —Unknown
Witty Quotes About Life
- “Failure is a great teacher and, if you are open to it, every mistake has a lesson to offer.” —Oprah Winfrey
- “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” —Dolly Parton
- “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” —Albert Einstein
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” —Miles Kington
- “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” —Maryon Pearson
- “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” —Groucho Marx
- “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” —John Lennon
- “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” —Oscar Wilde
- “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” —Reba McEntire
- “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard
Sarcastic Quotes About Life
- “Be persistent and never give up hope.” —George Lucas
- “There are so many great things in life; why dwell on negativity?” —Zendaya
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” —Unknown
- “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time.” —Unknown
- “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” —Unknown
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” —Unknown
- “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” —Unknown
- “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” —Steven Wright
- “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” —Unknown
- “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me and I’ll do it for you.” —Unknown
Positive and Lighthearted Quotes
- “Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” —Marilyn Monroe
- “You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.” —Mandy Hale
- “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” —Dalai Lama
- “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” —Charlie Chaplin
- “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” —John Lennon
- “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” —Confucius
- “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” —Unknown
- “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” —Mark Twain
- “Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Brault
- “Smile, it’s free therapy.” —Douglas Horton
Sarcastic Observations About People
- “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” —Oscar Wilde
- “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” —Al McGuire
- “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” —Alan Dundes
- “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” —Bill Watterson
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” —Unknown
- “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” —Douglas Adams
- “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.” —Unknown
- “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” —Douglas Adams
- “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” —John Barrymore
- “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” —Groucho Marx
Motivational with a Twist
- “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” —Kyle Chandler
- “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” —Winston Churchill
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” —Joe Girard
- “Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” —Jack Canfield
- “A diamond is just a piece of coal that did well under pressure.” —Henry Kissinger
- “Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid.” —John Wayne
- “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” —Dalai Lama
- “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” —Samuel Goldwyn
- “Dream big and dare to fail.” —Norman Vaughan
- “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers
Conclusion
Life has its fair share of twists, turns, and facepalm moments. But these simple quotes about life prove that a little humor, wit, and sarcasm can go a long way in lightening the load. Whether you laughed out loud, smirked knowingly, or found a quote that perfectly summed up your mood, there’s always something refreshing in not taking things too seriously.
So, which quote was your favorite? Share it in the comments, or better yet, drop your own witty take on life. And don’t forget to pass this collection along to friends who could use a laugh or save it to revisit on days when you need a quick mood boost.