80+ Funny Quotes About Work My Job

Work takes up a huge part of life, so finding a reason to laugh about it makes the routine easier. Whether it’s coworkers, bosses, long hours, productivity, or motivation, humor adds relief to the daily chaos of our jobs.

This article brings together more than 80 funny quotes about work and my job, mixing wit, truth, and sarcasm. Every quote offers a fresh and hilarious perspective on the workplace that will leave you laughing and thinking at the same time.

80+ Funny Quotes About Work My Job

Motivation and Hard Work

1. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily. — Zig Ziglar
2. Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. — Ray Kroc
3. If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. — Claude MacDonald
4. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. — Thomas Edison
5. The harder I work, the luckier I get. — Thomas Jefferson
6. Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. — Sam Ewing
7. Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there. — Josh Billings
8. Great things are done by a series of small things brought together. — Vincent Van Gogh
9. You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. — Jim Rohn
10. Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment. — Dilbert

Humor About My Job

1. I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. — Jerome K. Jerome
2. Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. — Leslie Nielsen
3. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. — Oscar Wilde
4. My job is fun. I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning. — Anonymous
5. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. — Robert Orben
6. Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster; it’s more like a cha-cha. — Robert Brault
7. If my job had a face, I’d punch it. — Unknown
8. I work well under pressure… as long as the pressure isn’t too pressuring. — Unknown
9. Retirement is my favorite work strategy, I’m just not there yet. — Unknown
10. I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. — Unknown

Sarcasm About Success

1. The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you. — Bette Midler
2. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do. — Elbert Hubbard
3. We work to become, not to acquire. — Elbert Hubbard
4. Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. — Katharine Whitehorn
5. Some chase success. Others chase coffee. Guess which one I am. — Unknown
6. The road to success is always under construction. — Unknown
7. If money doesn’t buy happiness, someone should check my salary. — Unknown
8. The only thing standing between me and success is effort. And that’s not happening today. — Unknown
9. Success requires passion. Passion requires energy. Energy requires sleep. So you see the problem. — Unknown
10. Behind every successful employee is a very tired person pretending to be motivated. — Unknown

Coworkers and Teamwork

1. I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. — Franklin D. Roosevelt
2. It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you. — Dwight D. Eisenhower
3. Teamwork means someone else to blame when things go wrong. — Unknown
4. Coworkers: the everyday reminder that patience is a skill. — Unknown
5. I like my coworkers. I just prefer them in small doses. — Unknown
6. A good coworker is rare. A quiet coworker is a treasure. — Unknown
7. We bond not over shared goals, but shared complaints. — Unknown
8. Coworkers are like family. Loud, dramatic, and unavoidable. — Unknown
9. Office friendships are built on two phrases: “same here” and “I know, right.” — Unknown
10. Some coworkers brighten a room just by leaving it. — Unknown

Bosses, Rules, and Workplace Leadership

1. My boss expects results. I expect nothing. We’re both disappointed. — Unknown
2. Leadership is the ability to tell someone to do something they were already going to do. — Unknown
3. I love my boss. I mean, I love when my boss isn’t here. — Unknown
4. With great power comes great responsibility and unnecessary meetings. — Unknown
5. My manager says I need to think outside the box. I didn’t even know we had a box. — Unknown
6. The corporate ladder feels more like a hamster wheel. — Unknown
7. The rules don’t apply to everyone. Only to me. Apparently. — Unknown
8. I think my boss is brilliant. That’s why I want their job. — Unknown
9. Delegation means doing nothing while others think you’re doing everything. — Unknown
10. If my boss paid me what I’m worth, the company would go bankrupt. — Unknown

Quotes About Salary and Money

1. A paycheck is a vacation postcard you bought yourself. — Unknown
2. Payday gives me confidence. Bills take it away. — Unknown
3. I’m not poor. I’m just temporarily not rich. — Unknown
4. My salary is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry. — Unknown
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see my salary and it’s gone. — Unknown
6. The bank keeps sending me messages. Apparently they miss my money. — Unknown
7. I need a raise. The economy agrees. — Unknown
8. My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills. — Unknown
9. Salary: proof that effort and income are not related. — Unknown
10. When money talks, mine whispers goodbye. — Unknown

Workplace Stress and Overthinking

1. Stress wouldn’t be so bad if it waited until after work. — Unknown
2. Of course I’m overwhelmed. I’m working. — Unknown
3. Overthinking is my unpaid full-time job. — Unknown
4. Sometimes I sit at my desk and think. Other times, I just sit. — Unknown
5. My brain is like a computer. Too many tabs open. — Unknown
6. I’m not burned out. I’m lightly toasted. — Unknown
7. Work doesn’t scare me. The inbox does. — Unknown
8. I didn’t choose the stressed life. It chose me. — Unknown
9. I’m not avoiding decisions. I’m collecting information forever. — Unknown
10. If stress burned calories, I’d be invisible. — Unknown

Productivity, Efficiency, and Procrastination

1. I work best under pressure, which is why I wait until the last possible second to start. — Unknown
2. Productivity is when you do nothing but feel guilty about it. — Unknown
3. My to-do list and I have an understanding. I ignore it. It stays long. — Unknown
4. I’m not procrastinating. I’m prioritizing mentally. — Unknown
5. I’m busy today. Busy thinking about how to avoid work tomorrow. — Unknown
6. The first 30 minutes at work are just warming up to work. — Unknown
7. Why finish today what you can successfully avoid forever. — Unknown
8. My brain has two modes: very productive and nap. — Unknown
9. Efficiency is great until someone notices and gives you more work. — Unknown
10. I put the pro in procrastination. — Unknown

Inspirational Comedy About Work

1. We work to become, not to acquire. — Elbert Hubbard
2. Your job is not just to do what society says. It’s to figure out what your heart calling is. — Oprah Winfrey
3. Anybody, somebody or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you do for yourself. — Byron Pulsifer
4. Don’t wait for opportunity. Complain until it shows up. — Unknown
5. You don’t need to love your job. You just need to hate it less than being broke. — Unknown
6. A career is what you’re paid for. A calling is what you’re made for. — Unknown
7. Purpose makes work better. Coffee makes it bearable. — Unknown
8. No job is perfect, but laughter helps. — Unknown
9. Work is temporary. Pride is permanent. And exhaustion is forever. — Unknown
10. If you can’t find the sunshine at work, be the sarcasm. — Unknown

Conclusion

Funny quotes about work and my job remind us that laughter is sometimes the best way to survive the workday. Whether you relate most to motivation, coworkers, stress, or paychecks, there is always something in the workplace worth joking about.

Think about which quotes made you laugh the hardest, and share your own favorites. Join the conversation in the comments, pass this collection to coworkers and friends, and return anytime you need a comedic break from the grind of your job.