Let’s face it—while A Christmas Carol revolves around Scrooge’s icy heart, it’s the Cratchit family who truly brings the warmth. They’re poor, overcrowded, and one goose away from chaos, but somehow still manage to be the most wholesome, hilarious, and hopeful crew in Victorian literature.

This post highlights over 80 funny, witty, and sometimes sarcastic Cratchit family quotes that showcase their love, laughter, and everyday charm. Whether you’re here for Bob’s endless optimism, Mrs. Cratchit’s roast-worthy sass, or Tiny Tim’s tiny mic-drop moments, this collection proves one thing: you don’t need money to have style—just a lot of spirit (and maybe a spare pudding).

Bob Cratchit’s Warm Optimism and Endless Patience

“I’ll give you Mr. Scrooge, the Founder of the Feast!”
“It’s only once a year, sir.”
“He hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple.”
“Bob had hugged his daughter to his heart’s content.”
“He ran home to Camden Town as hard as he could pelt.”
“My little, little child! My little child!”
“Bob’s voice was tremulous when he told them this.”
“He broke down all at once.”
“He sat very close to his little son, upon his little stool.”
“Mr. Scrooge! I give you Mr. Scrooge!”

Mrs. Cratchit’s Dry Humor and Quiet Strength

“I’ll drink his health for your sake and the day’s—not for his.”
“Such a goose, Martha!”
“It would be ungrateful not to drink to the Founder of the Feast.”
“The pudding was out of the copper.”
“I suppose you must, then.”
“The cloth was removed, the ceremony commenced.”
“She laid the cloth with great care.”
“Everybody had something to say about it.”
“She broke down all at once.”
“They were not a handsome family… but they were happy.”

Tiny Tim’s Iconic Soft-Spoken Wisdom

“God bless us, every one!”
“He hoped the people saw him in the church.”
“To remember upon Christmas Day who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.”
“He sat very close to his father’s side.”
“He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him.”
“He was very light to carry.”
“He was content to be carried like that.”
“He had been patient and mild.”
“Spirit of Tiny Tim, thy childish essence was from God.”
“He had a plaintive little voice.”

Cratchit Kids Keeping It Real

“There never was such a goose.”
“Peter mashed the potatoes with incredible vigor.”
“Belinda sweetened up the applesauce like a pro.”
“The two young Cratchits danced around the table.”
“They came tearing in, screaming that outside the baker’s, they smelled pudding.”
“Master Peter wore his father’s shirt and made it work.”
“The younger Cratchits giggled behind their hands.”
“Martha came in shyly, pretending to surprise them.”
“They had a game of blind man’s buff afterward.”
“Everyone was excited, even though the table was tiny and crowded.”

Family Dinner With Flair and Fuss

“There never was such a goose cooked.”
“Its tenderness and flavour, size and cheapness, were the themes of universal admiration.”
“Mrs. Cratchit made the gravy hissing hot.”
“Peter mashed the potatoes with incredible vigor.”
“Two young Cratchits set chairs for everybody.”
“Mrs. Cratchit entered, flushed but smiling proudly.”
“The pudding like a speckled cannon-ball, so hard and firm.”
“Everyone had something to say about the pudding.”
“They regarded it as the greatest success achieved by Mrs. Cratchit since their marriage.”
“There was nobody who didn’t love that meal.”

Moments of Joy, Despite the Struggle

“They were not a handsome family; they were not well dressed; their shoes were far from being waterproof.”
“But they were happy, grateful, pleased with one another.”
“They were contented with the time and place.”
“The family displayed cheerful faces.”
“Bob hugged Martha to his heart’s content.”
“Each child had their moment of being the center of attention.”
“Even the goose had its moment of glory.”
“Joy didn’t come from what they had—it came from who they were.”
“Mrs. Cratchit smiled at Bob despite herself.”
“They made the most of what little they had.”

Cratchits Roasting Scrooge (Gently, Of Course)

“I’ll drink to Mr. Scrooge because it’s Christmas Day—but that’s it.”
“Founder of the Feast? He better not show up here hungry.”
“He’s rich enough, and yet so stingy he’d charge air if he could.”
“God forgive us, but I’d rather toast the cat.”
“Next year we drink to someone else, please.”
“Bob sees good in everyone—even Scrooge. I see stress.”
“You work too hard for too little, my love.”
“Scrooge wouldn’t give coal to a snowman.”
“If Scrooge ever smiles, the world might end.”
“Here’s to Scrooge—may he one day meet joy (and taxes).”

Dickensian Irony and Family Feels

“They had just enough—barely—but it was enough.”
“Poverty wore a smile in their house.”
“Their cheer didn’t come from circumstance, but spirit.”
“Even a tiny fire seemed warm with their laughter.”
“They made do, and then some.”
“They had one coat between them—but shared it with pride.”
“If gratitude had a headquarters, it’d be their kitchen.”
“Cratchit family motto: Make it work. Then make it merry.”
“No silk, no servants, no problem.”
“Joy arrived on time—even if the goose almost didn’t.”

Sarcastic Twists and Modern-Day Parallels

“Mrs. Cratchit invented the ‘I’ll drink to that, but I’m still mad’ mood.”
“Tiny Tim walked so inspirational quote accounts could run.”
“Bob: the OG of toxic positivity (but in the nicest way).”
“The Cratchit kids deserve their own spinoff sitcom.”
“This family stretched a goose the way influencers stretch content.”
“Mrs. Cratchit was one pudding short of snapping—and still smiled.”
“Their dinner was small, but the drama was well-seasoned.”
“One family dinner, 10 emotions, no leftovers.”
“The Cratchits were poor, yes—but rich in guilt-proof parenting.”
“Scrooge may have had money, but Bob had emotional resilience (and cold feet).”

Conclusion

The Cratchit family is proof that love, laughter, and a slightly dry pudding can carry a household through anything. These 80+ Cratchit family quotes show just how powerful humble joy can be—especially when sprinkled with sarcasm and served with heart.

Which quote made you laugh, or gave you that warm fuzzy Victorian-family-feast feeling? Drop your favorite in the comments—or share your own modern take on Cratchit wisdom.

Send this to anyone who’s ever celebrated big with little, and keep it bookmarked for your next cozy, chaotic, perfectly imperfect family holiday.

80+ Heartfelt & Funny Cratchit Family Quotes You’ll Love