October is the month of crisp air, cozy sweaters, and colorful leaves. But what makes it even better? A little humor. Funny October quotes bring laughter into the season, reminding us not to take life too seriously.
Whether it’s poking fun at pumpkins, joking about autumn traditions, or offering a sarcastic twist on seasonal moods, these witty sayings brighten even the chilliest fall day.
In this post, we’ve gathered over 80 funny, witty, and sarcastic October quotes. They’re divided into categories so you can easily find the perfect one to laugh at, share with friends, or just enjoy while sipping on something pumpkin-spiced.
Funny Pumpkin Quotes
- “I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” – Henry David Thoreau
- “Let’s pumpkin spice things up a bit!” – Unknown
- “O’ pumpkin pie, your time has come ’round again, and I am autumnrifically happy!” – Terri Guillemets
- “I’m just here for the pumpkin pie and questionable life choices.” – Unknown
- “Pumpkin spice and everything nice… plus a little sarcasm.” – Unknown
- “I’m hollow inside, just like this pumpkin.” – Unknown
- “Pumpkins are just squash with a marketing degree.” – Unknown
- “I don’t need a knight in shining armor; I just need a pumpkin latte.” – Unknown
- “The only thing scary about Halloween is running out of pumpkin pie.” – Unknown
- “Pumpkins: nature’s way of saying, ‘you need more orange in your life.’” – Unknown
Funny Fall and Autumn Quotes
- “My heart is drumming in my chest so hard it aches, but it’s the good kind of ache, like the feeling you get on the first real day of autumn.” – Lauren Oliver
- “Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.” – Doug Larson
- “Fall: proof that change can be hilarious if you slip on enough leaves.” – Unknown
- “The leaves are falling, and so is my motivation.” – Unknown
- “Autumn… nature’s excuse for you to wear three layers and still say you’re cold.” – Unknown
- “I’m falling for fall… mostly because the leaves are slippery.” – Unknown
- “Autumn leaves and lattes are cheaper than therapy.” – Unknown
- “Fall is just summer in disguise, but with a pumpkin hat.” – Unknown
- “Autumn is my excuse for never leaving my blanket fort.” – Unknown
- “The only crunch I enjoy in fall is from leaves, not my life.” – Unknown
Halloween Humor Quotes
- “Never jump in a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.” – Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
- “The only thing I’m dressing up as this Halloween is exhausted.” – Unknown
- “Witch better have my candy.” – Unknown
- “I’m here for the boos.” – Unknown
- “Halloween is the one day I don’t feel judged for eating my weight in candy.” – Unknown
- “Some people say Halloween is childish… those people don’t understand free candy.” – Unknown
- “Ghosts are just introverts with unfinished business.” – Unknown
- “Halloween is when cobwebs in your house are suddenly stylish.” – Unknown
- “I don’t need a mask, my morning face is scary enough.” – Unknown
- “Trick-or-treating: the original door-to-door delivery service.” – Unknown
Funny Weather Quotes
- “Chicago is an October sort of city, even in spring.” – Nelson Algren
- “October: the month where you need a winter coat in the morning and shorts by noon.” – Unknown
- “Fall weather is like mood swings in Mother Nature’s diary.” – Unknown
- “I love October weather… until it reminds me winter is coming.” – Unknown
- “October air: crisp enough to wake you up, cold enough to make you rethink your life.” – Unknown
- “It’s October, which means I’m both freezing and sweating at the same time.” – Unknown
- “Autumn breeze makes me sneeze.” – Unknown
- “October is sweater weather, aka laundry season.” – Unknown
- “I checked the forecast: 100% chance of pumpkin spice and regret.” – Unknown
- “October weather is basically a guessing game with scarves.” – Unknown
Funny October Life Quotes
- “October is like Friday: full of promise, but winter is the Monday lurking behind it.” – Unknown
- “October is the month where my productivity falls as fast as the leaves.” – Unknown
- “If life gives you October, make pumpkin pie.” – Unknown
- “October is just a reminder that New Year’s resolutions are officially dead.” – Unknown
- “October: the month of cozy lies I tell myself about exercising.” – Unknown
- “Life is gourd.” – Unknown
- “October is 31 days of excuses to do nothing.” – Unknown
- “If you’re not busy being spooky, you’re busy being basic.” – Unknown
- “October is when my summer body officially surrenders.” – Unknown
- “Life is hard, but October makes it hilarious.” – Unknown
Sarcastic October Quotes
- “October is the month where my bank account screams louder than the Halloween ghosts.” – Unknown
- “Thanks, October, for making me crave pies, lattes, and naps all at once.” – Unknown
- “October: because the leaves aren’t the only things falling apart.” – Unknown
- “If fall is about letting go, then why can’t I let go of my responsibilities?” – Unknown
- “October: a month-long reminder that my wardrobe is inadequate.” – Unknown
- “Nothing says autumn like pretending to love nature while freezing outside.” – Unknown
- “October: the month I pretend pumpkin spice is a food group.” – Unknown
- “Every October, I realize nature is better at changing than I am.” – Unknown
- “October means pumpkin spice everything, including disappointment.” – Unknown
- “October: when people start dressing like the leaves—bright on top, messy underneath.” – Unknown
Cozy and Foodie October Quotes
- “Pumpkin spice calories don’t count in October.” – Unknown
- “The best part of October is carbs in disguise.” – Unknown
- “Autumn is the only season where pie is socially acceptable as a main course.” – Unknown
- “October: the appetizer for Thanksgiving.” – Unknown
- “Soup is October’s love language.” – Unknown
- “October dinners taste better by candlelight or TV glow.” – Unknown
- “In October, my diet is 90% apples and denial.” – Unknown
- “October is for carbs, cocoa, and calling it self-care.” – Unknown
- “Pumpkin bread is basically a warm hug in loaf form.” – Unknown
- “October cooking: 80% cinnamon, 20% excuses.” – Unknown
Funny Seasonal Quotes for October
- “October: the month of spooky vibes and cozy lies.” – Unknown
- “Fall is when I trade sunscreen for pumpkin candles.” – Unknown
- “October is like a corn maze—you get lost but laugh anyway.” – Unknown
- “Leaves are just nature’s confetti.” – Unknown
- “Autumn trees are basically influencers showing off their outfits.” – Unknown
- “October weekends are made for pretending I’m outdoorsy.” – Unknown
- “In October, my plans are as flaky as the pie crusts.” – Unknown
- “October is proof that endings can be beautiful and hilarious.” – Unknown
- “October is basically nature’s comedy show.” – Unknown
- “The leaves are falling, and so is my patience.” – Unknown
Conclusion
Funny October quotes remind us that laughter is the best part of the season. From pumpkin spice jokes to sarcastic takes on chilly weather, these witty sayings help us enjoy the little quirks of autumn.
Whether you laughed at a sarcastic one-liner, a cozy food quote, or a Halloween zinger, there’s something here for everyone.
Which one made you laugh the most? Share your favorite October quotes in the comments, or add your own funny twist to the season. And don’t forget to share this collection with friends and come back to it whenever you need a quick laugh this fall.