Hello, December! That time of year when twinkling lights go up, the cocoa flows, and we try to pretend we love the cold. But instead of getting lost in the frost, why not warm up with a little humor?
Funny and sarcastic quotes can add joy to the everyday winter chaos—because let’s be honest, between tangled lights and frozen fingers, we could all use a laugh.
In this post, you’ll find 80+ hilarious, witty, and downright relatable hello December quotes. From holiday mishaps to warm family moments (with a side of sarcasm), these quotes are here to make you smile, laugh, and maybe even roll your eyes—in a good way.
Funny December Weather Quotes
- December: the month when your nose runs faster than you do.
- Hello December—time to dress like a marshmallow just to check the mail.
- December is proof that the air can hurt your face.
- I love December. Said no one defrosting their car at 6 a.m.
- If December had a personality, it’d be cold, dramatic, and always late to the party.
- It’s December—nature’s way of reminding you that summer was a lie.
- Snowflakes are like December’s glitter—pretty until you have to clean them up.
- The December breeze really knows how to slap some sense into you.
- You know it’s December when you need five layers just to take the trash out.
- Hello December—where your thermostat and bank account both go downhill.
Witty Holiday Spirit Quotes
- December: when every room smells like cookies and stress.
- Tis the season to buy things we don’t need for people we barely see.
- In December, my holiday spirit is 70% caffeine and 30% sarcasm.
- The lights are twinkling, the tree is up, and my patience is down to zero.
- December: the only time of year I willingly listen to songs about snow.
- My idea of December decorating? Plugging in one string of lights and calling it a day.
- Santa isn’t the only one making a list—I’m checking mine for who’s not getting a gift.
- They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s cute.
- Hello December—where wrapping paper becomes a competitive sport.
- Nothing says holiday spirit like passive-aggressive gift tags.
Sarcastic Family & Togetherness Quotes
- December: when “quality family time” starts to feel like a hostage situation.
- I love spending time with family—especially when it’s only once a year.
- If family gatherings had a volume knob, December would crank it to 11.
- Nothing brings people together like shared confusion over assembling toys.
- December meals: 10% food, 90% awkward conversations.
- The family that decorates together… argues together.
- Holiday dinners: where silence is golden and stuffing your face is encouraged.
- ‘Tis the season for pretending you like your in-laws.
- Every December, I forget how loud my relatives are. Then I remember immediately.
- Hello December—where “peace on Earth” doesn’t apply to family game night.
Quotes About Winter Struggles
- Winter isn’t coming—it’s already here, and it forgot to be gentle.
- December is the only month where I walk faster just to survive.
- Snow is magical until you have to shovel it. Again.
- Falling snow is beautiful—until it traps you inside with no snacks.
- Hello December—where heating bills go up and motivation goes down.
- The only thing colder than December air is my attitude when I run out of coffee.
- It’s December: my hands are ice cubes and my feet are popsicles.
- Wearing socks to bed? Welcome to the romance of winter.
- Snow days sounded fun until I became an adult with responsibilities.
- Who needs an alarm clock when you’ve got cold bathroom tiles?
Cozy & Snuggle-Approved Quotes
- December is for fires, fuzzy socks, and pretending your to-do list doesn’t exist.
- The best part of December? Canceling plans and blaming the weather.
- There’s no such thing as too many blankets in December.
- Cold outside, cozy inside—that’s the real holiday vibe.
- Snuggling is a winter sport and I’m a gold medalist.
- If it involves hot drinks and staying in, I’m in. Hello December.
- December nights were made for slow movies and warm hugs.
- Fuzzy pajamas and no responsibilities? That’s how I do December.
- My favorite winter outfit is pajamas layered under a blanket.
- Fireplaces and naps—December’s greatest gifts.
Relatable December Mood Quotes
- Hello December—my mood is 50% festive, 50% frozen.
- December is basically Monday, but for the whole season.
- If my December had a mood, it would be “leave me alone but bring cookies.”
- I love December—until it overstays its welcome.
- My face says holiday cheer. My soul says “wake me up in spring.”
- December makes me emotional. Mostly cold and hungry.
- Why do I feel busier in December without actually doing anything?
- My December mood? One long sigh wrapped in a blanket.
- Let’s be honest—half of December is spent saying “next year I’ll be more prepared.”
- December: the month where your calendar and your energy both run out.
Twinkling Lights & Decor Quotes
- December: when every house looks like it lost a bet with a Christmas store.
- Nothing says ‘festive’ like tripping over tangled lights.
- Decorating the tree is fun—until the cat joins in.
- My holiday décor style? “It’ll do.”
- Every December, I discover how many broken lights I own.
- Putting up lights is easy. Untangling them is a full-time job.
- Hello December—time to hang ornaments and hope for the best.
- My tree is 30% ornaments, 70% glitter, and 100% chaos.
- Decorating for December is just arts and crafts with a deadline.
- Twinkle lights: because nothing says ‘holiday’ like a power surge.
Hot Drinks & Lazy Days Quotes
- December runs on hot cocoa and good intentions.
- Give me coffee, warm socks, and a reason to stay indoors. Hello December.
- My December diet includes one hot drink per emotional breakdown.
- Hot cocoa in hand, responsibilities on pause.
- Tea tastes better in December. That’s just science.
- Forget the gym—it’s hot chocolate season.
- December: the month I replace water with warm drinks.
- Lattes, layers, and low expectations—my December trifecta.
- Hot drinks are my love language. Especially in December.
- If it’s not warm and in a mug, I don’t want it this month.
Conclusion
Whether you’re dodging snowballs or dodging your family’s group texts, these funny and sarcastic hello December quotes are the perfect way to laugh through the cold. December might be frosty, but your sense of humor doesn’t have to be.
Found a quote that made you smile? Share it with friends or drop your own witty December wisdom in the comments. Bookmark this list and come back whenever you need a laugh this winter. After all, the snow might not melt anytime soon—but at least we’ve got jokes to keep us warm.