Laughter has a way of making even the most ordinary days feel extraordinary. From witty comebacks to sarcastic one-liners, humor offers us a chance to pause, smile, and see the lighter side of life. Few stories capture this balance of wit, absurdity, and heartfelt wisdom quite like The Princess Bride.
In this article, we’ll explore 80+ of the most memorable Princess Bride quotes. Divided into categories, each section highlights the sharp humor, timeless wisdom, and delightful absurdity that has made William Goldman’s masterpiece so beloved.
Funny and Sarcastic Princess Bride Quotes
- “When I was your age, television was called books.”
- “Inconceivable!” “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
- “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”
- “Just because you’re beautiful and perfect, it’s made you conceited.”
- “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
- “True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.”
- “Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
- “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”
- “Who says life is fair, where is that written?”
- “Love is many things none of them logical.”
Quotes About Love and Romance
- “Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.”
- “Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.”
- “True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.”
- “Love is many things none of them logical.”
- “Just because you’re beautiful and perfect, it’s made you conceited.”
- “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”
- “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
- “As you wish.”
- “This is true love. You think this happens every day?”
- “When love is real, it does not need to be logical.”
Quotes About Life and Wisdom
- “Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
- “Who says life is fair, where is that written?”
- “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
- “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”
- “Inconceivable!” “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
- “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”
- “When I was your age, television was called books.”
- “You only think I guessed wrong. That’s what’s so funny.”
- “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.”
- “You mock my pain!” “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
Quotes from Inigo Montoya
- “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!”
- “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
- “I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.”
- “Let me explain… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.”
- “I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
- “I don’t even exercise.”
- “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
- “I want my father back, you son of a—”
Quotes from Westley (The Dread Pirate Roberts)
- “As you wish.”
- “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”
- “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
- “This is true love. You think this happens every day?”
- “Get used to disappointment.”
- “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
- “I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
- “I fight to win. That’s what I do.”
- “I would not say such things if I were you.”
- “I have loved more deeply than a killer loves his weapon.”
Quotes About Humor and Absurdity
- “When I was your age, television was called books.”
- “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
- “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”
- “True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.”
- “I don’t even exercise.”
- “Let me explain… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.”
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.”
- “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”
- “I do not think it means what you think it means.”
- “Inconceivable!”
Quotes About Revenge and Retribution
- “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!”
- “I want my father back, you son of a—”
- “I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
- “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
- “There’s not a lot of money in revenge.”
- “I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'”
- “That day, I swore I would go into the revenge business.”
- “Someday, the six-fingered man will be mine.”
- “I will not fail in avenging my father.”
Quotes About Friendship and Companionship
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
- “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.”
- “I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well, and dream of large women.”
- “We face each other as God intended.”
- “You don’t happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”
- “You seem a worthy opponent.”
- “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
- “When people are in the pits together, they often form bonds.”
- “You must trust me on this.”
- “Together we will find victory.”
Quotes About Fate and Adventure
- “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
- “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”
- “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”
- “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
- “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
- “I fight to win. That’s what I do.”
- “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
- “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.”
- “As you wish.”
- “Adventure is what keeps us alive.”
Conclusion
The Princess Bride is more than a fairy tale—it’s a treasure trove of humor, wisdom, and unforgettable lines. These 80+ Princess Bride quotes remind us how wit and sarcasm can add perspective, while love and adventure make life meaningful.
Which of these quotes made you laugh or think the most? Share your favorite in the comments, pass this collection along to fellow fans, and come back whenever you need a dose of humor, romance, and adventure from this timeless classic.