Laughter really is the best medicine—especially when it’s paired with a dash of motivation. Life’s too short to be serious all the time, and sometimes a funny, sarcastic quote is all you need to lift your spirits, break up the workday, or help you power through tough times with a grin.
In this post, you’ll find over 80 short motivational quotes that are not only funny but also surprisingly insightful. Whether you’re stuck in traffic, buried under emails, or just need a mood boost, these quotes will help you see the lighter side of life, work, and success. Let’s dive into some wit and wisdom that will leave you laughing and thinking at the same time.
Funny Work Quotes
- “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” —Drew Carey
- “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” —Robert Frost
- “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” —Groucho Marx
- “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” —Phyllis Diller
- “Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” —George Carlin
- “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” —Vince Lombardi
- “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” —Claude MacDonald
- “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edward Bergen
- “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing
- “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” —Robert Orben
Funny Confidence Quotes
- “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” —Tina Fey
- “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt
- “Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there.” —Josh Billings
- “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.” —Steve Maraboli
- “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” —Marvin Phillips
- “Fake it till you make it. Then fake it some more.” —Unknown
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” —Unknown
- “Confidence is silent. Insecurity is loud. Sarcasm is somewhere in between.” —Unknown
Funny Success Quotes
- “The road to success is always under construction.” —Lily Tomlin
- “The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.” —Vince Lombardi
- “Success is 1% inspiration, 99% caffeine.” —Unknown
- “Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.” —Unknown
- “Success is like being pregnant. Everyone congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were screwed.” —Unknown
- “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —Steven Wright
- “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” —Michael Scott
- “Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a neighbor’s satellite.” —Unknown
- “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it… or too distracted to notice it.” —Unknown
Funny Life Quotes
- “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” —Unknown
- “Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” —Unknown
- “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” —Tom Lehrer
- “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” —Benjamin Franklin (probably)
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to take the stairs… one step at a time.” —Joe Girard
- “Why be moody when you can shake your booty?” —Unknown
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” —Unknown
- “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” —Unknown
- “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” —Unknown
Funny Productivity Quotes
- “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” —Douglas Adams
- “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.” —Unknown
- “My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people know I’m not dead.” —Unknown
- “I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” —Unknown
- “I planned to take over the world today, but I overslept. Postponed until tomorrow.” —Unknown
- “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” —Ellen DeGeneres
- “I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, and 4% Friday.” —Unknown
- “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work… yet.” —Thomas Edison (probably)
Funny Hustle Quotes
- “Rise and grind… or snooze and lose. Either way, I’m tired.” —Unknown
- “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number. Preferably not 911.” —Unknown
- “Dream big, nap hard.” —Unknown
- “I’m not stopping when I’m tired, I’m stopping when I’m done… watching Netflix.” —Unknown
- “Wake up. Hustle. Repeat. Just kidding, go back to bed.” —Unknown
- “Hard work beats talent when talent hits snooze.” —Unknown
- “If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find a meme.” —Unknown
- “You can sleep when you’re rich—or just tired of pretending to hustle.” —Unknown
Funny Job Quotes
- “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.” —Unknown
- “I pretend to work as much as they pretend to pay me.” —Unknown
- “I’m not lazy at work. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” —Unknown
- “Job hunting is like dating. If they don’t call you back, they’re not interested.” —Unknown
- “Work smarter, not harder. Or neither. That’s also an option.” —Unknown
- “That awkward moment when your job asks you to start actually doing your job.” —Unknown
- “Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s only Wednesday.” —Unknown
- “I don’t always tolerate work, but when I do, it’s because I have bills.” —Unknown
Funny Quotes About Deadlines and Schedules
- “There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” —Henry Kissinger
- “Deadlines are just suggestions with consequences.” —Unknown
- “Time is money. So technically, I’m broke.” —Unknown
- “I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.” —Unknown
- “My schedule is full. My motivation is not.” —Unknown
- “Due dates are closer than they appear.” —Unknown
- “Why finish today what you can avoid forever?” —Unknown
- “Planning is just guessing with a calendar.” —Unknown
Funny Quotes About Motivation and Dreams
- “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.” —Katharine Whitehorn
- “Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land among the excuses.” —Unknown
- “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door… then nap behind it.” —Unknown
- “Follow your dreams, but carry snacks.” —Unknown
- “Motivation is like bathing. It doesn’t last, so do it often.” —Zig Ziglar (probably)
- “Dream big, work hard, and ignore your alarm clock.” —Unknown
- “Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Just wing it like everything else in life.” —Unknown
- “Believe in yourself—even if no one else does, or especially then.” —Unknown
Conclusion
Funny motivational quotes remind us that it’s okay to laugh at life, even when it’s messy or overwhelming. They help us step back, see the humor in the grind, and realize that everyone’s winging it more than we think.
Whether you’re looking for a chuckle during a long workday or just want something light to share with friends, these quotes deliver the laughs while keeping your spirits up.
Which quote made you laugh the most? Got a favorite funny motivational quote of your own? Drop it in the comments, share this with someone who needs a smile, and bookmark this page for whenever life needs a little more laughter.