Benjamin Franklin wasn’t just a founding father—he was a founding comedian, philosopher, and all-around truth-teller. With his unmatched wit, love for irony, and a habit of calling things exactly as they were, Franklin’s quotes have survived centuries not just because they’re wise, but because they’re entertaining.
This post features 80+ Benjamin Franklin quotes that cover everything from life and liberty to laziness and liquor—with a good dose of sarcasm and smarts along the way. Whether you’re a history buff, a humor fan, or just someone who appreciates clever one-liners, you’re in for a timeless treat.
Witty Benjamin Franklin Quotes
- “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
- “The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance.”
- “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”
- “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
- “The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
- “He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.”
- “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
- “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”
- “When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.”
- “To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.”
Funny Benjamin Franklin Quotes
- “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”
- “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.”
- “A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.”
- “It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”
- “If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.”
- “There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.”
- “Work as if you were to live a hundred years. Pray as if you were to die tomorrow.”
- “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
- “Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship.”
- “If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow some.”
Sarcastic Benjamin Franklin Quotes
- “I guess I don’t so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.”
- “He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.”
- “Tricks and treachery are the practice of fools, that don’t have brains enough to be honest.”
- “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest—unless you invest in nonsense.”
- “He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes books.”
- “A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.”
- “The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.”
- “Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.”
- “Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it.”
- “Hunger is the best pickle.”
Quotes on Time and Productivity
- “Lost time is never found again.”
- “You may delay, but time will not.”
- “Do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
- “Diligence is the mother of good luck.”
- “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
- “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”
- “He that can have patience can have what he will.”
- “The sleeping fox catches no poultry.”
- “Sloth, like rust, consumes faster than labor wears.”
- “Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.”
Quotes on Money and Wealth
- “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
- “Rather go to bed without dinner than to rise in debt.”
- “Beware of little expenses.”
- “The way to wealth depends on just two words: industry and frugality.”
- “If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher’s stone.”
- “He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.”
- “The borrower is servant to the lender.”
- “Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn.”
- “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”
- “Creditors have better memories than debtors.”
Quotes on Human Nature
- “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”
- “Speak little, do much.”
- “He that cannot obey, cannot command.”
- “The sting of a reproach is the truth of it.”
- “Being humble to superiors is duty, to equals is courtesy, to inferiors is nobleness.”
- “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
- “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”
- “A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.”
- “Half a truth is often a great lie.”
- “We are all born ignorant, but it takes education to remain that way.”
Quotes About Wisdom and Knowledge
- “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I may remember. Involve me and I learn.”
- “Genius without education is like silver in the mine.”
- “The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.”
- “A fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do.”
- “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
- “Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom.”
- “Being ignorant is not shameful, but staying that way is.”
- “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain.”
- “The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”
- “Words may show a man’s wit but actions his meaning.”
Quotes on Liberty and Government
- “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
- “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.”
- “Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom.”
- “When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.”
- “The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.”
- “Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.”
- “In free governments, the rulers are the servants, and the people their superiors and sovereigns.”
- “Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.”
- “Where liberty is, there is my country.”
- “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
Quotes About Life and Living Well
- “Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”
- “Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.”
- “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.”
- “He that lives upon hope will die fasting.”
- “To be thrown upon one’s own resources is to be cast into the very lap of fortune.”
- “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
- “Well done is better than well said.”
- “A good conscience is a continual Christmas.”
- “Many people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.”
- “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
Conclusion
Benjamin Franklin had the uncanny ability to pack centuries’ worth of wisdom into single, snarky sentences. His wit still hits hard today, not because it’s old, but because it’s timeless. These 80+ Benjamin Franklin quotes show us that humor, sarcasm, and straight-shooting advice are not only compatible—they’re powerful.
So, which quote made you laugh, nod, or roll your eyes in agreement? Share your favorites in the comments, pass this on to your fellow thinkers and mischief-makers, and revisit anytime you need a reminder that wisdom doesn’t have to be boring—especially not when it comes from Ben Franklin.
